THE ANATOMY OF PLEASURE: WHAT YOU WERE NEVER TAUGHT IN SEX ED
When it comes to learning life skills, we get plenty of education—how to drive, how to write, how to manage our careers. But what about pleasure?
For most people, traditional sex ed barely skims the surface, focusing on what to avoid (STIs, pregnancy, or “doing it wrong”) rather than how to enhance pleasure and build intimacy. And let’s be real—without this knowledge, many people struggle with understanding their own bodies or how to bring their partners pleasure.
That’s why it’s time for a new kind of sex education—one that empowers you with knowledge about your own anatomy, how it functions, and how to use that understanding to enhance your sexual experiences.
I’m Dr. Susie Gronski, Doctor of Physical Therapy, Pelvic Floor Specialist, and Certified Sex Counselor. In this post, we’re breaking down some of the key elements of sexual anatomy that most people never learned in school—specifically for bodies with vulvas. And if you’re curious to go even deeper, you can check out the full, uncensored version of this conversation on my Patreon.
Vulva vs. Vagina: What’s the Difference?
A lot of people use these terms interchangeably, but they’re not the same thing!
• The vulva refers to the external genitalia—everything you can see on the outside.
• The vagina is the muscular canal inside the body, connecting the external vulva to the cervix and uterus.
Understanding this difference matters because most pleasure happens on the outside, not the inside—a fact that’s often overlooked in mainstream sex ed.
So, let’s start with the external anatomy of the vulva and how it plays a role in sexual pleasure.
The External Anatomy of the Vulva
The vulva is beautifully complex and includes multiple parts, each with its own sensation, function, and response to touch. Here are a few key players:
💡 Mons pubis – The soft, fatty area above the clitoris, often covered in pubic hair.
💡 Labia majora (outer labia) – The outer lips of the vulva, which are typically covered in pubic hair and serve as a protective barrier for the more sensitive inner anatomy.
💡 Labia minora (inner labia) – The inner lips, which are hairless, more delicate, and can range in color, size, and shape. They’re rich in nerve endings and can be highly sensitive to touch.
💡 Clitoral hood – A fold of skin that partially covers the clitoris, similar to how a foreskin covers the head of a penis.
💡 Clitoris – The pleasure powerhouse of the vulva, with over 10,000 nerve endings (more than any other body part, including the penis!).
💡 Urethral opening – Where urine exits the body, located just below the clitoris. While not directly linked to sexual pleasure, it’s close to many sensitive areas that respond to stimulation.
💡 Vaginal opening – The entrance to the vagina, which leads to the internal reproductive structures.
💡 Perineum – The area between the vaginal opening and the anus, packed with sensitive nerve endings that can contribute to pleasure.
No two vulvas look the same! They come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors, and they also change over time with age, hormonal shifts, and childbirth. All variations are normal and healthy!
The Hidden Power of the Clitoris
If you think the clitoris is just that tiny bump on the outside, think again!
Most of the clitoris is internal, extending deep into the body, surrounding the vaginal walls, and even wrapping around parts of the urethra. This internal structure is a major reason why stimulation anywhere on the vulva can contribute to sexual pleasure.
The clitoris and penis actually share the same embryonic origins and are made of the same erectile tissue. This means:
➡️ The clitoris gets erect, just like the penis—when aroused, it fills with blood, firms up, and becomes more sensitive.
➡️ Erections aren’t just for penises! Sexy thoughts or physical stimulation can make the clitoris swell with excitement.
➡️ You don’t need penetration to orgasm—for most people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation is the key to orgasm, not vaginal penetration alone.
Understanding this hidden anatomy helps to expand the ways we think about pleasure—which is exactly why we need better sex ed!
The Science of Pleasure: Why Touch Feels So Good
Sexual pleasure isn’t just about the genitals—it’s about the brain, the body, and the emotional connection between partners.
Pleasure is a complex experience involving nerve endings, blood flow, hormones, and the brain’s reward system. The more we understand about how our bodies respond to touch, the better we can communicate what feels good.
➡️ Some nerve endings respond to light touch, while others respond to deeper pressure or temperature changes.
➡️ The clitoris, inner and outer labia, vagina, perineum, and anus all contain thousands of nerve endings that overlap, making each person’s pleasure map unique.
➡️ Mental arousal matters just as much as physical stimulation. You can have sexy thoughts without an erection, and you can have an erection without feeling turned on.
The best way to know what you or your partner enjoys? Ask, explore, and communicate!
Beyond Genital Pleasure: The Many Forms of Intimacy
Sexual pleasure isn’t just about genital touch—it’s also about building deeper connections. Pleasure can come from:
❤️ Physical intimacy – Sensory touch, foreplay, and arousal.
🧠 Intellectual intimacy – Sharing fantasies, desires, and deep conversations.
😌 Emotional intimacy – Feeling safe, supported, and emotionally connected.
👫 Social intimacy – Shared experiences, humor, and bonding.
When we understand that pleasure is more than just a physical act, we can open up new ways to connect, explore, and enjoy intimacy with our partners.
Want the Full, Uncensored Breakdown?
This post is just the tip of the iceberg—there’s so much more to explore about:
🔥 The full internal structure of the clitoris
🔥 How different nerve endings contribute to pleasure
🔥 Techniques for enhancing pleasure with anatomy-based knowledge
For the full, unfiltered deep dive, watch the full version on Patreon! 🎥👇
This information is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding treatment, medications/supplements, or any medical diagnoses. This information is intended for educational purposes only and is in no way to substitute the advice of a licensed healthcare professional.
